My Kinks

I had a question regarding my past with kinks, so I thought I would address it right away.

I have identified as submissive for a long time. As a child, I had erotic fantasies of being overpowered and controlled, kidnapped and enslaved. So the central themes of BDSM kink were already in place long before I knew what they were. I even asked to be tied to a pole when I was five years old! That to me tells me that my kink is deeply engrained in who I am.

Then during high school, the magical tool of the internet helped me to see that I was far from alone in these kind of kinks. A search for chastity belts opened up a whole new world for me and I was relieved that I wasn't just some crazy freak with weird ideas about bondage and servitude and sex.

After high school, I began to experiment more and more. I became more an active member of the community online, posting personals, subscribing to sites, etc. I also purchased new toys and experimented on my body, learning what felt good and what only sounded good on paper. It was also during this time that I learned I really wanted to be a slave, truly owned and collared by a good and strong master. So I intensified my search for him.

I interacted with two doms, neither of whom were a good match for me, nor I for them. One was too serious and interested in things I was not and the other was just out for a good time and not really interested in the real dynamics of a kink relationship. I felt discouraged, like I might not find the kind of commitment and mutual desire I had always hoped for. So I searched again.

And while messing around online, I found someone interested in ageplay. While I did not end up with this person, I am grateful that for the first time, I was able to see that I had a "little" side. I played at about ten years old with him and for the first time, called a potential master "Daddy." Our conversations were shortlived, but I now had a new tool in my arsenal.

One night, I saw a very cute redhead on CollarMe, a site I generally did not like. But here was a very nice-looking, sensitive, and intelligent man so I dropped him a very short "Hi". We spoke for months, beginning as friends with mutual interests, then it snowballed into very intense feelings before we even met. Luckily, those feelings were confirmed in person on our first date and we have hardly been apart since that chilly day in January.

Importantly, not only does my Daddy identify as a Daddy, but he instantly made me feel little-r than I ever had before. Where I played at ten before, now I felt five. Cuddling, sucking my thumb, wearing little girl skirts and jammies all felt perfectly natural, soothing, and wonderfully erotic. Calling Daddy "Daddy" is now second nature and I actually have to watch it so that I don't do it in front of the vanillas. I am a cute and fun-loving girl and that comes across in our relationship. I like nothing better than holding Daddy's hand as we are out and snuggling up to his strong chest when we lie down for a nap together.

Regarding AB/DL, I did not know much about it before my Daddy came into my life. I was never interested in playing that young and was not sure how I felt about it. It seemed to me to be more humiliating than anything I had ever done and the mental space it would take to play that young seemed even like dangerous territory to me. But then, I got sick. I had the worst sinus infection of my life and Daddy came to take care of me. That day was my entre into the AB/DL world as Daddy put me in his lap and bottle fed me orange juice til I thought I would burst. He rubbed me down and stroked my head, murmuring to me. He put a diaper on me so I would not wet the bed.

At first, I felt confused and surprised that here I was, diapered in my own bed. But I liked the attention and the secure feeling of being Daddy's little baby.

And a few weeks later, Daddy diapered me again. It felt more natural this time and I was more at ease although I was still learning what to do and what not to do, what to say and what not to say, that kind of thing.

Then something happened that I never expected: I craved Daddy making me his little babygirl. I began to long for that special attention that is somehow more charged when I am a baby than at any other time. I longed for the feel of a cushy diaper on my bottom and a pacie filling my mouth, giving me something to suck on. No one was more surprised than me, and no one was more delighted than my daddy.

Just last week, he diapered me again and gave me the diaper to take home. That night, without my Daddy present, I put it back on and slept through the night that way. I have come a long way already and look forward to the many AB/DL adventures we will have!