Wednesday, July 21, 2010

BDSM and Your Past

I saw a new discussion on Fetlife last night that really intrigued me, as it is an issue that touches me personally. A girl asked if other people view their BDSM and particularly Daddy/little girl relationships as addressing past abuse and Daddy issues. After a fair bit of thought I posted this response:

"I think most people on this planet have Daddy issues, myself including. It seems to me that some of these people with issues find an outlet for their past struggles and issues in the D/lg lifestyle and some into ageplay are into it as a fetish purely. Similarly, some people with abusive pasts may find the BDSM commmunitty welcoming and therapeutic. Of course, not all people with rough pasts are kinky, nor are all kinky people scarred in some way. I do not think there is a right or wrong way to approach any legal, safe, and sane kink just as there are many ways of expressing one's self through sexuality in general. If you find healing and therapy through your ageplay, more power to you! If it is enjoyable in any way, shape, or form, more power to you!
For me personally, my Daddy is my lover, my best friend, my future husband. He is the center of my world, grounding me and at the same time, helping me to soar. The dynamic makes me feel taken care of, controlled in a good way, very submissive, and fulfilled in ways I never expected. It is wonderful to know that there is someone who loves you unconditionally and wants you by their side always. I am sure that it is helping me work out my own Daddy issues, but it seems to me to be more of a positive side effect than my main goal. Hope this helps!"

So, what do you think? Do you use BDSM as therapy of sorts? Do you think most kinksters do? Or is it just something we do because we love it? I am not sure we will ever find an answer, but it is an interesting question...

2 comments:

  1. That's a good question. I am constantly asking myself that same thing but I just can't decide. I could totally blame it all on my past but, then again, maybe it's just the way I'm wired. I've seen and experienced a lot of bad things including emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. As I've said before, spanking is my main kink.. and I've been into it for as long as I can remember. I always wonder if it came from something I witnessed when I was really young, or if it's just always been there.. because I don't remember when it started.

    Great post. I agree with you 100%!

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  2. Great post :D although im reading this three years its inspired me. Thank you for the inspiration!!!

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