Revelations

My Daddy and I have grown a lot as a couple already. We have "felt" our way through scenarios and situations, learning what works and what does not. For example, it really works when I get creative with my dirty talk, branching out beyond the moans and groans (even though it is sometimes really hard for me to concentrate on forming words when Daddy fucks me). All roleplaying and costuming has worked for us as well, although I now know that I need some amount of planning in a more intense scene so I am not taken by too much surprise and things don't go beyond what I can handle at that moment. Also, I know now that I should never call out or involve my Daddy in any scene involving pain beyond Daddy spanking me, as my Daddy loves me lots and it pains him as a Daddy to give me pain and excessive force, even when I clearly want it.

We are learning how to blend the various roles. I am at all times to varying degree his slave, his little, and his girlfriend. From time to time, one of these aspects will be the most prominent. When we are sharing a nice night with our friends, I am The Girlfriend. When we are snuggling on the couch or I sit happily at his feet, I am The Little Girl. When he hands me his dishes or commands me to refill a glass of water, I am The Slave. I never had too much of a hard time reconciling these various aspects of both myself and our relationship, but time has helped define the boundaries more clearly during scening and to blur them at all other times.

And having lived "the lifestyle" for four months now, I have formed new connections and opinions that I have not held before. I have made quite a few friends online and hope that this blog will be a pathway to even more of that. I have learned that I sometimes get frustrated by non-sexual ageplayers, the ones who seem to crusade and push that their way is the only way. My Daddy and I both strongly believe in the Live and Let Live policy so long as what everyone is doing is safe, sane, legal, and fun.

Of course, I have had many revelations about AB/DL over the past few months, transforming from someone quite hesitant to even try it to someone loving every second of it. I even had an old memory trudged up a few days ago of a period of sexual experimentation shortly after I began menstruating. I would take several of the thick pads and line the inside of my panties completely with them and wear them for awhile like that. I never thought "Diaper" in my head but clearly the sensation is not unlike that. Perhaps my Daddy has unlocked some secret fantasy I never knew I had but was always lurking there under the surface.

In only four months, we have learned all this and more things that a short little blog post could not adequately explain. These have certainly been the busiest four months of my life, but also the most wonderful. I am secure in the knowledge of my Daddy's love and return to him the same amount of affection, awe, and love. Stay tuned for lots more revelations as we grow and experiment and live!

Sick Night with Daddy

Well, I guess all that stress got to me and last night when I was with Daddy, I started to feel weird and fevery and shivery and icky. I fell asleep in Daddy's lap while he stroked my hair and woke up feeling not very nice. So Daddy said he would come home with me and take care of his little girl for the night.

I love to take care of Daddy as his little slave girl, but it is so nice when he takes care of me too! He made sure that I drank enough, kept me in bed, and put in a movie we could watch in bed. Of course, one thing led to another and we did make love for awhile, which was very nice...Daddy rocking me with his big cock in our bed while I held onto my favorite stuffed animal, my bunny, Flopsy.

And after we finished, Daddy said I needed to put a diaper on since I dreamed about it the night before so he pulled one out of his bag and proceeded to tape it on. I felt that immediate safe, cushy, yet somehow erotic feeling. I felt littler still and began to enjoy the role, that young, carefree side of me.

It was very nice of Daddy to come over like that. I felt kind of bad, since I was so exhausted that I was out for the night at only 9 pm, leaving Daddy alone and bored. But I slept through til the next morning and feel much better as a result, having let go of some of that stress, drank more water, and slept a good amount for once.

Hmm...maybe I should get sick more often!

Last night's dream

I rarely have truly visceral, narrative-driven dreams. More often than not, my dreams involve a simple image or concept which rather gets revisted again and again within the dream itself and I simply fast-forward or rewind in a neverending cycle until I wake up. This is sometimes frustrating, like I am getting nowwhere but on certain occasions, it is really lovely to slow things down, focus on the minutia, and receive a fuller understanding.

Last night's dream was one of those special occasions and it dealt with the erotic side of me. In it, I was lying on my bed completely naked, save for a thick white diaper. It felt so real I didn't realize I was dreaming until I woke up. The diaper felt conversely cushy (padded around my butt and pussy lips, which were plump and swollen with desire) and tight (with pressure on my hip bones, pelvis, and inner thighs). I could keenly feel the diaper taped onto my body.

I lay there, savoring the sensation. I was not tied to the bed, but I still felt restrained, like I knew I was not allowed to leave the bed even though my Daddy wasn't there to keep me from leaving. It was more like mental bondage. I knew what the expectation was and I was determined to follow orders.

Being quite new to AB/DL, dreams like this still surprise me. I never expected to be involved in this type of play, much less like it and want more. But here is my subconscious acting out a fantasy for me of me diapered and held at a little age by mental force alone, the always present dominance of my Daddy even when he is not with me physically.

Do you ever dream like this? A simple image that sticks with you and keeps you wondering? One that reinforces an idea growing in your mind?

In the Kitchen

Until May 15th, Daddy and I both live with our parents as we search for jobs in this tough market and economy. I am moving out shortly into a wonderful new space, complete with a second bedroom brimming with possibilities for a 'little's room.' We have dreams of a crib, play pen, stuffed animals corner, Daddy's workspace, etc. We cannot wait to begin filling that room with all of our kinky toys, clothes, and implements.

But until then, we have had to make due. Luckily, my mom is not averse to me bringing my boyfriend over for the night so we take advantage of that fact a few times per week. It is not ideal though. The location is not great, there is a very unruly dog in the house, and my mom chainsmokes like there's no tomorrow, a fact my Daddy and I both hate.

But the worst thing of all is the lack of privacy. We rarely get to be completely alone, just the two of us. Either my mom is right next door or his parents are just upstairs and we are vulnerable to being discovered, as has already happened a few times. One time, we were in the middle of having sex in an empty house when the rest of the family came back home early. We have never whipped our clothes on so fast before! What a frustrating experience.

But there is an unexpected upside to all this sneaking around. It is kind of fun to try to find ways to make contact possible and one of those ways for us is to go into the kitchen and steal a few embraces before someone walks in on us. Daddy began to grope me in the kitchen just yesterday, whispering in my ear that he would bend me over and fuck me if we were alone, all the while gripping my ass and pussy, giving me the mental image of a ripe peach about to burst between my legs.

Not being able to touch each other, say what we really mean, and be generally intimate has forced us to be creative. And furthermore, we can exchange messages nonverbally now. A simple look, a tug on the necklace, etc. will make me understand what Daddy wants even if he cannot verbalize it at the moment. I think all this has brought us closer and made us even more creative in the long run. I love running my hand over Daddy's body, wondering if at any moment, we will be caught. Until we have a place of our own, I will treasure the stolen moments and I will always remember the kitchen as a place of sweet embraces and naughty whispers.

100 Things I love About Daddy, Part 4!!!

Last post on this topic!

24. That it gets me so excited to see Daddy tying up his necklace, because I know it means I about to be fucked by him!

23. The feel of Daddy's soft eyebrows beneath my fingers as I trace them

22. The way Daddy moans and growns as I kiss his neck and throat

21. Daddy's knack for finding the kinkiest "vanilla" items when we are out and about

20. Daddy's self-awareness and interest in my well-being

19. The way Daddy just rolls me over in the middle of the night to use my body as he pleases

18. The fact that Daddy loves to hear me make noises of pleasure during sex

17. That the most I ever came in one night (4 times!) was with Daddy

16. That Daddy calls me "Princess" so sweetly

15. That Daddy likes when I take care of him, stroking his hair, fetching him things, etc.

14. That Daddy makes me feel spoiled, even when we are just hanging out together

13. That I can't bear to be away from Daddy for more than a day

12. How Daddy encourages me to a better person by his example

11. How Daddy sometimes makes me cum when I don't feel like it but that I am always grateful afterwards

10. How Daddy likes me in a costume, skirt, jeans, or simply nothing at all

9. The way that Daddy walks me to my car after a visit to say goodnight

8. The manner in which Daddy so wonderingly and sweetly calls me his whore and slut

7. That Daddy fingered me in public on our first date

6. That Daddy honestly wants to know my opinion on things, even if he has the final say

5. The firm control Daddy has over me, which I feel even when I am not with him

4. How lucky I feel to have met my Daddy and the lonely despair I feel when I think back to times without him

3. How every time I look at my collar, I renew my promise to be his

2. How Daddy's powerful, big cock feels thrusting in and out of my tight, shaved pussy

1. That Daddy is my soul mate, the love of my life, the man I will marry!

Thank you, Daddy, for all these reasons and for giving me new ones everyday!
Daddy's Rose

Stress

Oy! I love spring because it is beautiful and it means summer is soon to be here, full of sunshine-y days, swimming, and ice cream...But as a student, it means that I am stressed out. I finish school soon and have all sorts of papers and projects due soon. I am keeping on top of things, but it requires dedication and and a sense of organization that is taking a lot out of me.

There are also some personal issues going on. I am moving out of my mom's house in two weeks, which I am very excited about, but she is having separation anxiety and "empty nest" feelings which are confusing me when I should be happy and lighthearted. Also, needing to buy new things, spend as little money as possible, go through everything I own already, pack it up, and take it over to my new apartment is exhausting!

A few other weird occurences and unpleasant events recently have made me stressed out and stretched thin. I feel like my patience is at its breaking point and like I might soon say something to someone which I will regret. But since I know that I am out of sorts, I am keeping an eye on myself and trying to defuse situations before they become ugly. As a genuinely sweet girl who loves to keep the peace and not rock the waters, I can't wait until school is done and things will quiet down (hopefully).

Part of this post has just been to release these feelings and partly, it is meant to put it out there that my posts may be more irregular this week given my busy schedule and due dates. I love having this blog, it gives me great pleasure to share with you intimate details of my life, but if I get tied up (and no, I don't mean tied up in good, kinky way) I might miss a day or two. Please understand and check back later for happier and sexier posts. Until then, take care all of you and feel free to leave any feedbacks, comments, or suggestions!

Things I Love about Daddy, Part 3

50. That Daddy believes in true love
49. How Daddy groans and pants as he get close to cumming
48. The many role-playing scenes we have performed together, from pirates to harem girls!
47. The sound of Daddy's voice whispering dirty little secrets into my ear
46. The way Daddy performs all the voices when he tells me a naughty story
45. The way Daddy thinks of me before himself
44. The way Daddy wipes and kisses away my tears when I cannot bear to leave him
43. How it feels when Daddy kisses the tip of my nose and bops it with his finger
42. Daddy's care for little animals (especially me when I am Daddy's pet!)
41. The way Daddy will talk to me if I am lonely, even if I just spent all day with him
40. The way Daddy pinches and sucks on my pretty pink nipples, making them hard and sensitive
39. The different ways Daddy treats me as a woman, and a girl, and a babygirl
38. That Daddy can go days without showering and only smell more seductive to me
37. The supersexy way Daddy looks in his hot black undies
36. That it means so much to both of us when I gaze into his eyes and whisper "Daddy"
35. That Daddy got me interested in kinky things I have never tried before
34. That Daddy is a dreamer, but practical and realistic about it
33. The way Daddy's goatee tickles me when I kiss him
32. The way Daddy admires my smooth, hairless little girl skin
31. The way that Daddy takes care of me, especially when I'm not feeling well
30. That Daddy doesn't mind when I am clumsy or knock something over
29. The way Daddy's skin absorbs the smell of sex and holds onto it so I can lean in and remember our lovemaking
28. The way Daddy looks at me with such love and awe in his eyes
27. The way Daddy calls me a whore so lovingly
26. Daddy's firm hand spanking me thoroughly
25. Daddy taping me into a diaper, something I thought never to enjoy but now crave